Retired Traveling Reflecting

God Provides

2011-04-26T06:46:00.002-04:00

Each day I wake up and wonder how and when I will have enough to survive. Then I take some silent time to read in God's Word. There I find the answers to all my questions!

God Provides!

Why did I even worry? I can read in the Word that Jesus taught His disciples not to worry. He taught them to pray and have Hope in the Living God Who has us ever present in His Mind. We are His children and His Own. He Blesses us daily!

So when I ask for His help He gives me guidance as to what I should do to be Blessed and to receive His fruits. First, Obey Him in all things. Love Him with all my Heart, Soul and Strength. Next, Listen to Him and See Him in all things and in all people. Love my fellow human kind, and share His bountiful Word with all.

I praise God for His daily Blessings, and I believe with all my Heart He is the One True Living God.

So when my pockets seem empty and a bill is due, I just smile and say what is in my Heart:

GOD PROVIDES!

HE never fails me.

Borrowed From God

2010-06-13T20:52:00.004-04:00

OK I have been busy and that is no excuse not to keep up with this important work. I wrote this article last month, but just now took the time to clean up and post.
It is important to everyone to reject idols and to worship only the One True Living God!

God Bless those who have ears to hear!

SELF RELIANCE
SAY AGAIN?

What is self reliance? We are taught from an early age that we must learn to do everything for ourselves. We must become independent. We must not rely on others. We are alone and on our own??

Wow this is some heavy lifting for the young- for anyone at any age. I can recall putting this on many applications and it was the headline on my resume for years:

SELF STARTER
INDEPENDENT SELF MOTIVATED
SELF RELIANT

However, I must admit now that none of these descriptions fit me and they were not true. In fact, none of these describe any of us if we were to look deep into our inner self. There some of us may find a spirit and a soul. This is our essence of life. It is the force which keeps each of us alive and kicking.

For those who believe -- really believe and have a personal relationship with God He is the only Being who is a Self Starter and fully Independent. Before there was He Was and is to come- Jesus Christ, Jesus Spoke everything we see know and feel into existence. Nothing that is now ever was until He spoke it into existence.

I will restate what I tell everyone I know as I fulfill God's Great Commission: We are born into this world with no pockets , no credit cards and no worldly possessions. We leave the planet the same way.

God does this so "None can boast" Each us must Honor His Grace and give all Glory to Him. For it is by His grace that we have anything. And anyone who does have some temporary worldly possessions really does not have them;. You did not bring it here; you cannot take it with you.

Therefore, everything you have or will ever have is simply "Borrowed" from God. He graces some more than others.

Then there are those who have material goods via ill gotten means. Mostly we See these people making “Idols” of the things they own. These “Things” become their God. Thus the Evil one supplies too but he does at a great price.

Usually the cost is your soul, if you cannot make it back into the Light of Jesus. Your reward for these false idols of material comforts on earth is eternal separation from our Creator- God Almighty!

The Devil provides these things to people to take their worship from the Lord Jesus, Satan is substituting the desire we should all have to worship the Savior and replacing it with the worship of material goods.

Worshipping Jesus and gaining salvation is for all times. Worshiping material goods lasts only in this life time, and you cannot take these things with you.

We must all guard against having or possessing "material goods or money lest they become the :false Idols" we worship. Then we forget that anything and everything is created by God via the Savior Jesus Christ.

In the end, as it is revealed in Revelation, Every knee shall bend and every tongue shall acknowledge Christ Jesus.

No one is an Independent Self Starter. No one can say "I earned it and it is mine"!
All you possess is merely borrowed for your short time here on earth.

Next time you are in the shower, look down and see if you are a special being who was born with pockets full of money attached to your thighs.

Please respond ASAP to my Blog if you find them:))

The Wonder of Life and Its Resiliance

2010-01-08T22:37:00.002-05:00

Sometimes when you are not even thinking of it or even dreaming it can happen, something wonderful happens in life.

Yes it is melodramatic, but I am a firm believer that all life is drama and we are all hoping that it has a beautiful story line and a spectacular and happy ending.

So it has happened to me again: Love is growing daily within my spirit, and I am feeling new and wholesome again. Life suddenly came along and placed the opportunity in my path. I embraced it and now I am working to see it prosper and grow to blissful maturity.

My task is to make others happy. In particular, one someone will be made happy! I have found someone with wonderful talent and unsurpassed beauty. I will change her life and assist her in heading toward the path she most desires. In doing so, I will be fulfilling her dreams and ambitions. I can sense her frustration and sometimes skeptical cautiousness in dealing with people. It is sad that she feels she has to be this was as a means of protecting her deeply, artistic and sensitive soul.

It is sad these days that there is so much for beauty and tenderness to fear in this world. Therefore, I will be the guide who leads her to her dreams. I will protect her from all the ravages of life that have tattered her delicate soul over the years. I will restore her soul as to a fine sheer silk robe covering her delicate white body.

I will be the man who not only believes and respects her dreams. I will foster, nurture and cause them to come true. Her talents in music, art and literature need to be fed and allowed to flourish. In the past she has been held down by those who tell her of the foolishness of dreams and wishes of fairies and dream filled days of inner bliss.

These I will give to her in abundance, because I know this is why we are here. We are not drones made to work and weep and toil . We each deep in our souls long for beauty and lovely music which soothes our souls and adds rhythm to our sensuality.

We are fashioned for Love. Love for our maker and love for each other. Love can only be beauty and so love creates beauty. The beauty of a passionate dream. The beauty of a passionate song. The beauty or a passionate painting. Yes beauty abounds for those who love.

Those who love dream much more because they can see the potential of life and do not wish to step into the darkness without a bright and vivid dream. Each creative dream is to carried with them to light the way in a dark world that steps on peoples dreams as if they were a door mat.

Yes! Yes! it is the lovers and the dreamers of the world who give life to the otherwise droll and boring existence so many choose over Love and dreams. So I give my word and my life to helping out the lover and dreamer I met, and I will assure her daily as I draw her to my side that dreams are meant to be and that I am her dream maker and dream full filler.

Making My Move

2009-02-19T17:25:00.004-05:00

Well all good things come to an end.

An old cliche but true so I cant reinvent the wheel

I have reached a new plateau in my life, and it is time to move on.
I must be finding new headquarters where I can think and have adequate and uninterrupted time and place to write and contemplate. After all, I am a thinking man.

For the past three years I have been partnered with a person who has been very good to me, but not particularly good for me. Why. you ask?

For one thing, I have been, to use a bible passage, "Unevenly yoked". I mean we both meant well and wanted to contribute to our relationship, but I think we will both admit that there was more "me" in the relationship than "us". Even Dr. Phil will tell you that is not a good formula.

So having realized this, we must each find our own way again. Only that is a tall order for those of us looking back at many past milestones. As my great and intellectual friend, Esther, will tell you we all say " Hey we did all that and climbed all those mountains and met all those goals in life. Isn't it time we coasted through from here to the grave??"

I suppose the answer to that is once we stop struggling with life. Simply put: It is over!!

Yes folks that means Life is an endless and constant struggle. and there are no easy paths or endless retirement joy rides. Just like the rest of the animals God put on this lovely planet with us. We struggle each day from sun up to sun set for survival. Sometimes there are moments where we just can sit back and look up at the sky and say. " God You made me such a lovely Day. Thank You and Praise You for Your unconditional Love and Grace". Then we can go right back to hunting and gathering life support and sustenance.

As for me, I need to be moving on to look for new shelter, and Peace, and a closer relationship with my God and my Provider.

So I am on the road again, looking for new digs and a greater Peace.

RememberWhen By Alan Jackson

2008-12-15T20:55:00.000-05:00

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when
Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give up
Remember when

Remember when thirty something seemed old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Remember when
Remember when

Alan Jackson

Dreams and Memories

2008-11-22T04:57:00.007-05:00

When is a dream a memory, or a memory a dream?

Last night I was awakened by a dream. It was so real that it contained facts, names and places, and thoughts so real that I am still unsure if I was recalling a real past event. I do not know if this was an actual event in my waking life. I do know that the events of the dream were as real as me sitting here writing my blog.

I awoke to recall that I do really know all the players. I can verify this as a fact. I have since moved from the place where the events took place [did they?]. I see the names and faces. I feel the person, and her close personal contact. I feel deep inside me her warmth, and kisses. I know her body in only the way you can know a woman you have been physically intimate with. Yet, I also know that often sexual intimacy mostly takes place in the deep reaches of the mind. You are with your lover. Your eyes are closed. Your hands and lips record much of the feelings. Your minds eye records the feelings and fills in the visual aspects of love. Your thoughts center on the pleasure you are feeling, and you strain to reach that eternal craving for ecstasy.
Even after the quest is met your mind slides back down to reality [what you think is awakening]. You open your eyes, and quickly register the moment. You say, yes this is love, and this is my lover. Yes it really happened.

Well, I don't know anymore.

Last night was a follow up. My memory went back to an encounter which my thoughts tell me was a real event in my life from many years back. I was there many times. The memory is so clear. Each detail fills my every thought. The touch and feel are as real as this moment.

I met her at a friends house. She was slim, petite, and very desirable. She wore a silky gray shift that clung to her luscious curves. Her breasts were not too large for her body, in fact they were just right. She had a nice curve about the hips and her bottom was round soft. Her tummy was flat. Her legs were long and had a nice shape that is always accentuated when a woman points her toes down like a ballerina on point. She and I met at her home. I was invited to a party. We spoke, and she whispered her thoughts to me. I was surprised. I did not know she had such intentions. I was somewhat naive.

Later she suggested we meet in another place. We danced at this party. I felt intimate with her just dancing. She had give me the courage to meet with her again. I did not know what I was doing. My mind was under her control. More than just a sexual urge. I was drawn to her, and I could not figure out why. We had only had brief and polite encounters prior to this moment. We had talked and shared some thoughts. She loved conversation as much as me. She had read some of my thoughts and poems, which were not that good.

It was an early Fall evening. The house was dark, and it was on a lonely street in a poor area of the town. I was afraid of this meeting. I did not know what was going to happen. We met. She led me to one of the many rooms. There were others there, but we did not meet or talk to them. I had the feeling this was a place just for discreet sex. It was very strange.
In our waking state we sometimes encounter situations that we think are not real.
This was one of those situations.

Was this a dream or did it happen?

Either way it became embedded in my mind. We were naked in the room. I had watched in awe as she slid off the silky shift she had been wearing. She wore no other clothing. She was naked in a second; my feeling was not as expected. I did not see anything dirty or perverted or voyeuristic about her beautiful form. She was Art, and I was the artist taking in the beauty and power of the female form. In woman, God has created the most perfect curves and shapes for man to view. Somehow the female form itself controls man. I know some women say a man should look within the woman for joy, but God has made man to look first, and then to feel. That is why we are such pathetic figures when it comes to relationships. Adam and every man after him soon learned of the power God gave woman. Who was the nut that coined the phrase "the weaker sex?".

The bed clothes were still warm as if someone had been there just before us. The feeling was overwhelming. Better than any I had ever had. It was like the first time, only better. like dreams that must be shared together. Only this time I had hopes that it would last forever. The thoughts were within me; eyes open or closed.

Her body was petite yet firm and strong. Her breasts were the exact size of my hand as I cupped them. The nipples were pink; the larger ring bulged out and was capped with a firm protruding end that got harder and longer as I twittered it up and down with my tongue. She moved over me, and I held her waist and hips as my arms encircled her body. Then I ran my hands up and down her smooth back and firm bottom. I was hard, and I could feel her warm wetness instantly as she straddled me.

We had a series of these encounters each more powerful than the last. Then suddenly it was over. I don't remember where or when, but for years I thought of those encounters with great inner joy. But also I had some sense of doom or mystery about the entire tryst. It did not seem right nor did it seem quite real. In my awakened state everything was clear. Her supple body; her mouth; her warmth; the feeling of being intertwined with someone. One particular thought that was embedded in my mind was me touching her and exploring her with my hands and fingers. It was real. She was divine when she kissed. She explored my mouth and tongue, and I explored her. As I did, she would cross her legs over me as we sat next to each other on her sofa, and she would roll over me and then take my face in her hands. This is so vivid in my mind and my senses, that when I recall the event I actually relive it. Her warm soft hands caressed and held my head and her thumbs stroked my cheeks and eyes. Her fingers dug into the hairs at the back of my skull and held my neck ;the forefingers gently massaging behind my ears. All the time she was deeply yet gently kissing my mouth, and probing me with her hot tongue. I gave in. All defenses of the waking state were gone. I was limp, and she held me in her power.

I sat there with her straddling me and kissing and caressing me, as I released all tension and let down all barriers that people naturally have up when they are engaged with other humans. The joy of doing this was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I could just enjoy her with no effort on my part. The power of her strong womanhood had taken me body and soul.

#1 Dream or reality? [Alternate endings]

This morning I woke very early.

I had a revisited her last night to say goodbye.

I do not know why? I only know that again it was real. The memories were real. Yet I do not know if it happened in my awakened state. What is the mind? Where are the events that are inside our heads? Do they take place in another dimension? Do we travel outside our bodies? Does the soul roam all over the globe- the universe each evening? I do not know. I do know that I have memories; vivid memories of what happened.

I came to her home. Her friend was there. I know him. He is a real person; though I have not seen him for years. She was sitting on the sofa wearing a soft supple shift. Her body was the same. She was as luscious as ever, and the curves still had their power over me. My friend went to the kitchen to get all of us a drink. I sat on the sofa next to her. I noticed the dress that clung to her body. Everything was happening all over again. The feelings were rushing back. On a table behind the sofa was a memo pad near the phone.

I wrote. " Sorry, but it is over."

She looked at the note, and at me.
"Do you remember?" she asked.
I reached in my pocket and pulled out my key chain. I flipped over to the key to the home where we once met. She looked stunned,
" I did not know you had a key. Why do you still have it?" She spoke softly, and I understood she had a new lover, and did not wish to alarm him.
I smiled I could see him in the kitchen. She reached over and held my face in her hands again, and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. He entered with some glasses in hand. I looked at him, and could sense the finality of the moment. I knew he was wondering what was going on.
I got up and left. I could not look back, I could not see that form again, and not be overpowered. She was gone. The moment was gone. The love was gone.

I awoke wondering: dream or memory.

I tried hard to recall if I had really experienced all of this. I knew the characters. I had vivid memories of the many encounters with her. I kept trying to feel if it was a dream or a memory.

Will I ever Know???

ALT:

#2 Dream or Reality?

I revisited her last night with the intention of decoding these tortured dreams or fantasies or mysterious events.
.
For many years I had what I thought was a serial dream or and unaccountable relationship with a beautiful young woman, who for the life of me I cant figure out why she would find me attractive and desirable.

My memories of this relationship are so very real, but they could be only deja vous - again you!, and never actually took place. I mean when you say I know I was here before, but you are really not sure if you were or if you just imagined it. That was me in this situation.

I went over to her house. She was there with a friend I know. He is a real person. I could call him on the phone to prove it; I worked with him for over 5 years. That is true and real, so I know I did not dream him. However I was surprised that he was the one she was with at her home. As lovers we never took the time to talk. Conversation was only with our hands, mouths and bodies. I mean we never had a conversation other than arranging out next discreet encounter.
She answered the door in a red silky shift that clung to her perfect body. She turned slightly, and told her friend she had a visitor. He acknowledged me, and then went to the kitchen casually asking what I would like to drink. She gently took my hand and led me to the sofa. I sat, and she sat very close. I could feel the warmth emanating from her body, and as she moved I could hear the soft silky swoosh of the silk dress rubbing up against her thighs. She still was driving me nuts, and making it difficult for me to say what I came to say.
What did I come to say, and why was this happening again in my life? I thought this was all in the past or just an old vivid dream!
Yet I was reliving it and it was not a dream. Then I knew this really happened. Yes my mind recorded actual events. I knew the guy I knew the woman. I could not dream up a form and beauty such as this.
Ok! I would do what I came to do.

“Where did you go?”, She asked.

“I missed you so much,” she moved closer and peered into my eyes. Her deep blue eyes were like the Gulf Sea, and I just wanted to dive into the warm waters again.

“I have something to tell you.” I said.

She put her soft white hand on my leg. Our string was getting shorter. The magic energy field was getting more intense. The mystery was getting deeper. Ok. A minute ago I thought I knew, but now…

“Me too!” she said gently. Then she reached her other hand into her purse which was on the table behind the sofa. As she reached around, the top button on her shift strained, and displayed more of her sensuous white breasts.

“Remember?” she held a key on a small gold chain. Showing, and kind of teasing me with it dangling there.

A thousand memories of those times rushed back into my head. I remembered it all. It did happen. I could see it all again just like it was yesterday before I went to bed.

“Here, I want you to take it.” She said as she pressed the key into my palm.

“Tonight at 9, OK?!?” , she whispered.

He came back in with a tray of drinks, and sat them on the table before us.

“So how have you been? You look good. Haven’t seen you in …How long?” He was a quick and glib salesman who used to work for me when I was the General Manager.

We sat there for 30 minutes chatting and acting like three friends passing shallow information.

“Well what say we all go out to dinner?” He asked.

She looked at him, and I could tell he knew that was a “not tonight look.”

“Sorry, guys, but I have another engagement tonight, but thanks for the offer.” I said as I got up to leave.

She walked me to the door, and pinched my arm just before I left. I had slipped the key in my coat pocket.

“So we’ll see you again soon? Right?” She said as I exited.

“Oh for sure” I responded.

How was she going to pull this off ? Would I remember where to go.

I drove around for a few hours, and then I found myself parked across from our meeting place.

The hour had come, and I went to the door. To my surprise the key worked. I walked down the dark hall, and opened the first door on the left where I saw a faint light sliding out from under the door.

How did she do it, I wondered? She was already there in bed and naked. This was impossible. I was outside. I did not see her come in. I had the key. Yes it was a dream. In dreams things happen that are not always possible in real life. Our minds do the impossible because the mind can do anything without the bounds that restrict us in the awakened and “real” world we live in.

“ I was afraid you would not come.” She said in a hot, sensual, come hither voice.

“ I thought you had enough of my fantastic little body?” she said as she slid down under the sheets. Yet she did not cover her breasts, but let them exposed as if to tease me into joining her.

“Wait, I said.” I am here to solve a mystery.

“We never spoke before. Feelings and thoughts were all you needed.” She looked coy and slightly surprised.

“Yes, well I need to really know something” I responded as I came toward the bed.

“You know.” She smiled and slid the sheets down further, revealing more of her beautiful body. It was a definitive statement.

“What do you think I know?” I asked as I sat on the edge of the bed near her.

“You are smart. You are well educated. I heard you read all those books. You know the real thing from a vision.” She reached over to me.

“Is this a dream?” she asked as she ran her hand along my thigh and up to the object of her desire.

“I....I am not sure.” I said still trying to sort out the mystery.

“Close your eyes and feel. That’s all it takes. What else matters?” She said with her hot breath near my ear. Those lips;, that mouth her tongue. I could not think. All the education in the world; my classic Liberal Arts education meant nothing at that point. Would I ever resolve this conflict?

I did as she said. It is sweet. It seems real. It was…….

This morning I am putting it in writing in case I encounter her again.

The People of Lithuania

2008-09-18T21:58:00.033-04:00

Returning to America, I had a sense of loss.

Over the past three months and ten days I had a marvelous opportunity to meet and fellowship with so many astounding, beautiful, determined and resilient people in Lithuania.

What struck me most is their natural beauty, which I believe is related to their close ties with nature and the wonderfully healthy land they live on. In the Photo to the left my friend and interpreter had a deep desire to visit the Village of her birth, States, about 50 Km east of Kretinga near the popular Baltic seaside resort of Palanga. She had not been there since childhood some 50 years ago. Yet she had this strong desire to see and feel the land on which she was born, and to pick flowers and eat natural berries in the forest of her youth.

The country has suffered many conquests , and lived through the brutality of the German occupation, and then the pedantic and agonizing pain of fifty years under the Kremlin.

Through it all there emerged a well educated (98% literate) and well bred population of joyful people. I lived with these folks in their homes in several of the large cities: Vilnius, Kaunas, Siauliai, Palanga, Klaipeda, and Druskinikai. One memory of Klapedia which stands out with me was sitting in the kitchen of the home of the elder sister of my friend. We chatted though I speak Lithuanian only a little. I wanted to know if she could tell me what it was like during the WWII years. This dear lady was very reluctant to speak. I believe that fifty years of strict imtimidation by the Soviets have served to give those people who lived it a great reluctance, and a natural fear of speaking out and expressing an opinion about their intolerable situation. Further, I believe it is like a former prison inmate once told me when I asked about his experience 'doing time', "Look, I did it, and it is done. The last thing I want to do is to relive it with you." At any rate, I understood why Theresa, my friends sister, did not want to share her memories with me. She did share many photos and the small blue note books of music and native songs. She had written down all of the words and music in a neat, crisp hand. Many of these songs were not in print during the past 50 years. Out of great love of her people and to hold on to her Lithuanian tradition and culture, Theresa had preserved her heritage. I was in tears as I listened Theresa and her little sister sing out in wonderful harmony many of thse great and moving Lithuanian tunes. It is this inner determination which kept alive the Lithuanian people in an oppressed and occupied land.

I sat in her kitchen looking out on a major road, H.Manto Gatve [renamed Tito Gatve] along the stretch in front of the busy prot entrance road of Danes Gatve. leading to the Klapedia piers just beyond her home on Vytauto Gatve. She has lived here a long time, and she did share with me that the times of German occupation 1941-44 were very busy times for the port. The main entrance to the port is about a 10 minute walk from her home;just down this street and to the right is Tito Gatve leading to the main entrance.

Also, the soviets made great use of the same port when they forced out the Germans near the close of WWII. I could picture in my mind the German trucks and military appartus moving past her home marching toward those ships awaiting them at the pier, just a short walk from her home. Theresa's husband who died in the 1960's worked his whole life at this port. I have read so much about the war, and here I was right in the place where it had taken place. I walked all over the down town and along the piers at the waterfront one somber Sunday morning, and just took in the history of the place, and its people. I wondered what they had gone through, and how they managed to survive it all, and still come out as kind and generous and beautiful people.

It was hard to grasp; a great irony and justaposition was before me. Here I was sitting in a warm loving home, and thinking of those cold, malicious, fearful olive drab, green tanks and war machines rumbling past this peaceful home; marching toward the destruction of people who are so kind and good.

Every home I visited was filled with people always there to give you food and drink, and a warm hug. Where ever we went, we brought a bottle of Congac for our host, which is a tradition amoung Lithuanians. We, in turn, were greeted at the door with smiles and hugs and kisses, and ushered to a bountiful table of food. Every Village home had a wonderful and productive garden, and folks were proud to show you what they were growing and share the fresh produce with me. The best part was the loving people to share all of this with me.

This same experience was true in every city and in every home I visited. It was a thrill for me, and it caused me to become very emotionally attached to these folks.

One very important aspect of the Lithuanian culture and Psyche is their love for the land and natural beauty. Let me tell you about the food too, because it is tied to their nature. Breakfast is usually black bread, agurkas [we call them cucumbers in the US], tomatos [pomadoros], cheese[sauras] a wide variety of sausage meats, and honey [medus] and of course cava[coffee] very strong, and not brewed, but seeped in boiling water. Most importantly is that all of these items are fresh. Lunch may be Sepalines [ a ground potato filled with cheese or meat, and smothered with trasty gravy. This is often served with cold or hot Borscht. Dinner may be fish or foul. Most always lunch and dinner are served wih lots of fresh pickels, tomatos, and sometimes sliced meats that I never was really sure what animal they came from, but they were all good and all very healthy.

In Kaunas we lived on V.Kreves and the IKI [large chain supermarket] was a short walk from our home. In front of IKI was a large outdoor market that was always well stocked with fresh foods. Daily we took a walk at around 6AM. Played a little tennis and basketball at Danavos Parkas, and then went to the market. We rarely went into IKI. Most of our food was purchased in the open market stalls. Everything there was fresh daily. One day I went, and an elderly gentleman had backed his car in. His trunk was opened, and in it sat two 20 liter milk tins. This gentleman had been up since very eaarly morning milking his cows, and now he was in the market selling his fresh milk. He had some empty plastic bottles in his back seat. I asked him "Kaip tai kainuoja" [how much] he produced two liter and one liter empty bottles. I pointed to the two Liter. For 2.5 Litas I had fresh milk for the week. I loved to bargan with the vendors prices for food every day. Seems strange, but somehow it made it taste fresher, and better.

Lithuanians often spend time in the "Village". I got the impression that many were closely tied to the village of their birth. Again, tied to the land. Once, I went to the home of a very wonderful school administrator [director]. Her condo was in the city of Kaunas across from Oassi, my favorite sports center in the city. Yet almost every weeekend she went to her "village". I was invited to her birthday party which was held in her village home. The home was outstanding. The setting was beaucolic. The house was very large, and well constructed. Structures there must withstand extreams of weather, Winters get as low as -20 C, and summers can be as high as 30C or more. The house was perfectly situated on a pastoral pond in a valley of a deeply wooded birch forest. Everyone was so festive.

In general, Lithuanians love Festivity. During the warmer months every city and town in Lithuania puts on a "Town Celebration". I was fortunate enough to be in Kaunas in June during Kauno Days, and again in July for Jonises Day. If you look on my You Tube Site [http://www.youtube.com/user/willbethar] you will see a short clip called "Dancing in the Park". This was filmed at the Jonises Day Festival. Also, take a look at the wonderful video sent to me by aGBone "LITHUANIA-Journey to the Center of Europe". GBone is a native, and he is rightfully proud of his country. This video says more about Lithuania than I could ever tell of my experiences in this short article.

I will have more to tell later in the Historical piece of the cities I visited. Also, there is much said here in the photos. For now, I urge you to watch the videos, and I hope I have given my readers a sense of the wonderful feelings I experienced in getting to know Lithuania and Lithuanians.

Lastly,I want to impart that the magic of Kaunas and other cities does not lie in the beautiful old city buildings and churches. The magic is in the hearts, souls and eyes of the people who are the direct decendents of the folks who built all of those marvelous places. It is a miracle, and a blessing from God that this culture has survived to give living testimony to the strength, power and grace of a beautiful country, Lithuania populated with very, very beautiful Lithuanian people.

Retired Having Fun

2008-08-22T14:34:00.004-04:00

Just a quick message to fellow retirees who are wishing their retirement years were the reality they had dreamed of while working.

My reflections after spending the last three months in the center of Europe:

I never thought it would happen. But I thank God that it did. When I look back on the ups and downs in my life I see that I had been in this same position earlier in life.

I had just graduated college. I got a great job working for the government. I was in a good level [GS-14] position. I had 10 years of service completed, and I could retire with 47% of my high 3 years salary at age 55. Suddenly I lost it all.
During the high earning years of my Government service my family and I had done a lot of traveling: Europe; South America; Aruba and the Caribbean Islands. Then after my sudden departure from the Government I sat and worried about what to do. My vision for the wonderful and stress free future was blurred.

Would I every have enough money to travel again? Would I be ale to retire and still have enough years left to enjoy life? My legs, it seemed, had been pulled out from me. I was about to give up.

Then, I think God intervened. Suddenly, my life began to turn around. I started a small business. Next a big company bought me out and picked me up, and I started to rise rapidly up the corporate ladder.

Within a few years, I was back on top, and earning more money than I had ever made with the Government. I had more than doubled my Federal salary. I was saving money, and building a wonderful retirement. My new company had a 401K plan that matched my savings dollar for dollar to the max Tax bracket at the time. I was back traveling, and having the things I wanted in life for me and my family.

Suddenly, I was downsized. I lost the great income I had been enjoying. I went through a very costly divorce. Everything I had earned and worked for was taken by the courts and attorneys. I said to myself. Well here is another valley in my up and down life. My life was looking like a roller coaster.

The big question I had to ask was why? Like all such questions, there really is no answer. Only God knows.

I spoke to friends and relatives.
I met a guy who told me there are thousands like me.
Then he relayed his story. He too had some ups and downs in life. He had made a lot of money over the years. Then, as soon as his company was taken over by a bigger fish, he was a target. He was over 55, making 156K a year, and he was close to retirement. The new company wanted to clean house of guys like him, so sure enough they found a way. Offer him a severance package, and make it so restrictive that he could not ever get it.
They were closing his office which was the only one in the state. He had to find another position at the same or higher pay within the company anywhere within 50 miles of his current office. No such position existed. The severance package also said that if they offered him another job [and it did not have to be in the same or similar position] if he did not take it then he would be released, and the lucrative terms of the original package would be withdrawn.
So they offered him a job handling the Year2000 or Y2K program. He was not familiar with it, and at first he refused. HR told him that if he refused, then he would be out without any severance. He pointed out that at the end of the Y2K project there would no longer be a need for this position. HR told him they would find something else, but could not promise. The offer also had some fine print saying that once he took the new position the original severance package was no longer valid.

I asked what happened. He took the Y2K project. The company told him he had done such a good job they were ending the project 4 months early because they were assured [thanks to his efforts] everything was going to work fine when the clock struck midnight 2000. So ended his career and his severance, and his big salary. He was yet another senior victim of corporate belt tightening.

Like many others, his wife left him; his kids lost interest because he was no longer giving them new cars; trips to Europe, and all the perks that spoiled rich kids enjoy. The man was helpless in the face of his loss. He wound up withdrawing into himself and drinking to forget. Recently, he died, and had only one true friend who stuck with him to the end. God at least gave him that much, and he died in the arms of his Savior- Jesus.

I feel bad that I could not help him out. But now I believe I have a service that will help people like my friend. People who have given so much in life, and feel betrayed and cheated in the "golden years" of life. I want these to really be the "golden years" for all those who have worked so hard to build, teach create, and give their lives to enrich this society. Those people deserve more than a $600.00 monthly Social Security Check, and maybe a little pension money.

Again, let me tell you that I was in the same position. I had it all; lost it all, and got some of it back again: post retirement.

Please join me on my You Tube site at

http://www.youtube.com/user/willbethar

I have prepared a short video that will show you how to put some extra bucks in your pocket, and to supplement your current retirement. You need to treat yourself. You worked hard all your life. Live life life to its fullest. Don't let yourself be fenced in because of your limited retirement income. Join me, and Travel, Reflect and Enjoy!

Tallin, Estonia -Pro Georgia Demonstration

2008-08-12T22:37:00.000-04:00

AUG,12,2008 In the center of the old Medieval City of Tallinn the capital of Estonia a large rally was held to show support and union for the Georgia republic which is under attack by the Russians. The main theme I heard echoed is that Perestroika is dead, and the old Soviet hardliners are emerging from the Gorbichev years to flex their muscles. Perhaps the main reason for this union and demonstration is fear and self preservation. After all, countries represented here were once dominated by the Russians. They have reason to be afraid, after seeing the Russians sweep through Georgia in 4 days with little resistance. And they have no one to really rely on. The Baltic states of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia are still on the outskirts of the European Union. Siuliai,Lithuania is the only place where there is currently a large NATO base: a former Soviet strategic air defense base. This base is as big as the USA's Lackland in Texas. It was a real prise for the US and NATO to get this foot hold so close to Russians Western boarder[600Km].

I noted that there is a lot of coverage in the US for the Russia/Georgia conflict. However, I did not see any coverage of last nights rally to arms by these former Soviet satellite countries. Perhaps the west sees this as just posturing , because together they have no real military threat, and all probably with the exception of Lithuania because of NATO have little or no self-defense.

European news casters reported a rally of 500 people. There were considerably more, and they cheered and waved flags from all the Baltic states and other former Soviet states. I even saw a large American flag; someone thinking Bush really cared about their problems. In fact Bush was at the Olympics sitting near the former Russian leader Vladimir Putkin. Bush publicly declared that he expressed strong concerns over the Russians actions in Georgia, and then they both went back to watching the fake Chinese fireworks and the games.

My sense, and the sense of the crowd in Tallinn's Komondadi and Luhike Plots [square] was one of frustration. These countries have been through this many times before. They can claim independence and call themselves an elected republic, but the fact is they are sadly for them, still pawns on the world chess table. It is sad, because these people have human faces not just strategic importance for super powers who play with their lives.

The Russians set out to break the spirit of Georgians by targeting civilian populations. This is the Russian way of saying if you want democracy, elect a guy who will play ball with us, or you will die. In all of the cities I have visited, the Russians marched in and took over in 1917--20 and punished the vanquished by mass deportation to Siberia. They did it again in 1941 an then after pushing out the Germans deportation to Siberia began again in 1944. This was followed by 50 repressive years of tracking, spying and domination by the Russians. Russian was required in schools. The native languages were not taught,and Russian culture was forced on these people. Russians owned everything; got all the best housing, and cars, and the locals were treated like second class citizens.

Most likely the real reason for the invasion has to do with "Oil". Yep the same problem all over the world. Only ow you don't have a few Arab camel drivers who have no army sitting on billions of barrels of oil, you have the Russians who do have an army and an agenda. Ye the Cold War ended, and the Russians tried a new economic system called Perestroika. They let their military fall into a weaker state over the past few years, but they are still strong, and recently they have been exercising. Georgia may have been the Russian punching bag to gt the troops back in shape. While doing so, the Russians are showing the surrounding "Democratic" States that they still need to be on the Russian team. Russia discovered oil in a place they used to dump all dissidents, and they want to pump it to their neighbors; not as a good will gesture, but as a calculated economic threat to the EU. EU has become very strong over the past 10 years since the end of the Cold War. Russians are paranoid and have always been paranoid of anyone near their boarders growing in military or economic strength.

Lets look at a brief history of Tallinn, It has been ruled by the Finns, Russians, Germans and Swedes, and for a few years they had self rule. In the 1oth Century they were and still remain a key port and market for Scandinavia and Russia. What's to stop Russia from taking them back now that they have become a modern booming port town filled with western and Russian ships. It is a nice port, and free if ice more time than any other north Russian port.

So why does Russia want to take back or intimidate Georgia: could it be the oil pipeline route to Ukraine and eastern Europe, and the port of Poti, a major shipper of oil drilling parts and equipment, and the key link to all Caucasus trade? Funny thing is that Georgia's president Mikheil Saakashvil made a deal with the Arabs just after the 2004 completion of the Caspian oil Project . This project sponsored by the Russian Lukoil co. cost 3 billion. to build a pipeline to take oil from the Caspian sea drilling platforms through Azerbaijan to Turkey via Georgia. This upset the Russian plan to beat the Arabs at their own game. Russia has changed a little because of Perestroika. They now realize that in order to dominate, they need something more than a strong military. They need a stronger power, like the US has: MONEY! The Arabs are making so much with their oil, and they have the US and EU pinned to the mat, yet they only have a small army, and a few terrorists. But they have oil. Now the Russians have oil too, and if estimates are correct: more than the Arabs. So with a military force as large as the US, and billions of barrels of oil why should Russia care about world opinion. Let that sissy stuff for the US. The US is seen as a foolish country to people from this part of the world. The US takes over a key oil producing country; spends a billion a week to stay there; they get demoralized by terrorists, and allow the Arabs to bring them to their knees with high oil prices at US pumps. The US is funding its own downfall, and the Arabs, Qutar and the Russians are getting rich.
Russians are enjoying that new wealth too. Towns like Tallinn, Jurmila, Palonga, and Klapeda are all big beach resorts for wealthy Russians. And why not when the Russian currency buys a lot more than a Lithuanian lita, or Estonian Krona or Latvian Let.
Had the Russians been in the same spot as the US. They would have taken Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, and simply stated to the world "to the victor belongs the spoils" They would have then built a pipeline to Moscow, and the world would have yawned, and said" that's how the Russians do it". Which is about the same world opinion we see with the Russian invasion of Georgia.
Several times I have tried to talk with locals about the war years, and people my age who lived through it treat you as if you were a Russian spy trying to pry information out of them. To say the least, they don't want to talk. They want to forget.
The invasion of Georgia is a stark reminder that the Russians are still next door, and they could still easily break in your door at any minute.

RIGA, LATVIA

2008-08-10T04:20:00.000-04:00

I welcome you to spend some time with me in a city on the Baltic that has a long and varied history. It is hard to believe that a city that has changed hands and political control dozens of times over its 800+ year history. Prior to the first mention of Riga as a city under the Hanseatic League [Old German-Prussian] the Romans had a small outpost there[600], but did not take too well to the cold.

In the 1500's Riga became a Luthern town ruled by the Polish-Lithuanian state. Lithuania the neighboring Baltic state at one time ruled from the Baltic Sea to the Black sea. However from time to time they had various alliances with the Poles the Finns and the Sweads.
Thus, in 1621 the Sweadish State took control of Riga only to be conquered by Peter the Great of Russia as he began to eat into the Lithuanian empire state by state.
Jump 100 years ahead, and Napolean tries to take Riga from the Russians. Close, but no cigar, the result is mass destruction of the surrounding areas which led to the present day neat street plans created during the rebuilding.

About the 1860's The Nationalistic Riga Latvian Society is formed and the First All-Latvian Song Festival takes place. The week I was there they were celebrating the Hanseatic Festival. So though Riga was still under the Tsar in the 1860's they managed to maintain some central national identity, yet it would continue to be tested for the next 100 years. Riga was one of the most important cities in Russia where Industry and International trade flourished. Mostly because they have a natural seaport. In fact, it is so desirable that even the Dutch, 60 years earlier, had a hold on nearby Jurmala Rigas' port entrance to the Baltic Sea. Jurmala is the beach resort for today's wealthy Russians. Along the beach front there are many very large mansions that reminded me of the plush estates along Ponte Vedra beach in North Florida, or the many international estates that lie along West Palm Beach. In 1918 In the capital, Riga, an independent Latvian state was declaired, and they signed a peace treaty with Russia.

That did not last long. As Hitler was taking Poland, the Red Army walked into Riga and re-established the Soviet regime. A year later mass deportations of the population to Siberia began. As the Russian-German Axis began to crumble, the Germans who had paid 2 million dollars to get control of Lithuania, and its port Klapeda 150 Kilometers South of Riga. Then Hitler decides to take back Latvia in 1944[without payment to Stalin] and would have kept it if it weren't for the pressure put on them in the west after D-Day. In October 1944 the Russians retake Riga.

It was during this battle that the famous bridge crossing the Daugava river at Vansu Tilts was destroyed. Also, the Germans heavily bombed the city, and destroyed many ancient buildings including the most Famous, St Peters. Only 3 walls were left of the great Medieval Cathederal. The Russians defeated the Germans, and immediately began another mass deportation of the civilian political and intellectual leadership to Siberia.
For the next 50 years they ruled until Peristrokia. In 1990 the undaunted Latvians declared independence and were recognized by the west. In 1998 they held a massive celebration for the 800th anniversary of Riga. From 1967 to 1980 the Cathedral was completly restored ; including the addition of and elevator to the bell tower was installed. Above,left,you'll see several Photos from this location.

Riga is the home to many embassy buildings. Outside the US Embassy I spotted this statue/fountain in the corner built into the wall The city is very old European with a basis in the grain trade and a strong. guild-merchant tradtion found in many old medieval towns.

Almost forgot to mention that there is a very large Zoo north of the city that opened in 1901. It is located on the banks of the Large shallow bay to the north west of the city near Jurmala.
While traveling through the city it is interesting to not that many people speak English, German and Latvian. The makeup of the city is 43% Latvian, and 43% Russian with the rest Ukranians and Poles and others. The city boasts of 6 large Museums; 51 Libraries; 18 Culture Centers a ZOO and the Circus. I was in the city on three different occasions, and only scratched the surface, so give yourself time to explore.

Tartu, Estonia

2008-08-02T04:44:00.000-04:00

We arrived in Tartu, Estonia by car on a warm summer day.
The city was buzzing with preparations for the Festival.
In the central square a stage had been erected, and though we arrived around noon on Friday some performances had already begun.
The park along the river was decorated and many rides and activities were set up for the children.
Just up the hill near the park sits the Performing arts theater. It is lovely and modern. Continuing up the roadway on the south end of the park you climb a steep slope toward Tartu College. There are signs to the College Theater and the Geological and Zoological museums.
Tartu is definitely a "college" town. It reminded me pf Princeton, but with hills and much older architecture. I even saw some old remains of a roman aqueduct that had been unearthed during recent construction. The Romans had an outpost in Lithuania in the early 600's.
There were so many quiet spots to sit and read, and down every street there seemed to be a coffee house or a small performing arts theater hidden behind small doors and not clearly marked for the public. It all seemed so quiet, peaceful and personal.
Going back down the steep hill on which the college sits I came across a very wonderful pub: The Wilde Irish Pub. In front of the pub sits a life size statue of Oscar Wide on a park bench conversing with Peter-Ernst Wilde an Estonian writer of the same period. The pub is a two story affair with a large outdoor patio restaurant in the rear of the building.
On the first floor there is a book store . I browsed a bit, and it reminded me of an old Philadelphia, PA Bookbinders. Of course, the books were all in Estonian, so I was at a disadvantage other than to look at the photos and covers.

Had an Alus [beer] and sauntered from the Wilde Irish Pub toward the central Plaza and passed Poe's - another interesting pub and a dark place dedicated to drinking and evening entertainment of local music and song.

The town square was all decked out for the Festival. One side street off the square led down to the large old church St.John's built in the 1323. Along the street locals dressed and performed and sold goods in Native costumes. in front of the British UK hotel there was a woodwind quartet of beautiful girls performing some modern tunes mixed with Vivaldi. It was a beautiful site and sound for any visitor.
In the backyard of a traditional Estonian home locals set up as blacksmiths and workers serving the master of the home.
Two young girls in Estonian traditional costumes posed for me as I entered the yard.
From there I walked back to the square and away from the Government house and Post office to the Emajogi River. I crossed the rebuilt bridge that had been commissioned in 1784 by Catherine II of Russia, and then destroyed in 1941 by the Germans in WWII.
On the SE side of the river performers had set up old traditional games and food preparation. One group was actually building an Estonian solid boat carved from the trunk of a very large tree. They worked a little; drank a lot and then sang songs. In the 3 days I was there the boat was almost finished, but I could tell it was a joyous labor of love.
Some folks exhibited the old sword, armor and shields of battle dress and performed mock fights while Troubadours played and sang.

Food! There was so many places to eat, and a lot was prepared on the spot over open fires by vendors and merchants selling all sorts of items along with the food and lots of Alus[beer].
There was a modern European riverboat that had come Friday depositing European tourists to enjoy the Festival. These boats are long slim floating hotel/restaurants that travel the extensive network of waterways throughout Europe. For a reasonable price you can board, rent a nice room, and travel from city to city in Europe. I am interested in trying the Danube trip from Germany to the Black Sea. It is a rip full of history and culture.
Early the next morning When all the singing and dancing and drinking had slowed down I walked the streets of the old town again. During this time of the year sunrise is around 4AM, and sunset is not until 11PM, and even then it does not seem to get fully dark. This gives the people an opportunity to party long into the night; which often results in parties that easily last until the sun rises again. I mean what's a night party when the dark of night is only a few hours?
Anyway at dawn I roamed the streets and found some revelers still going strong. The town was beautiful in the early dawn where the sun seems very strong and bright as it glances off the top of our Globe -Earth. Strolling down Ulikooli St. past the colorful Tartu Ulikooli U. commissioned in 1632 by Gustav II Adolf I felt a time warp pass over me, or was it that I had been a part of one of the largest and longest parties ever.
I walked to the top of the hill overlooking the town just behind the central square. From there I could see a large modern city. A few blocks from the square; the Arts Theater, and the Old Church is a large modern mirrored glass structure-HansBankas. A few blocks away is a large Casino, and across from it and one block down is a McDonalds. Yes! McDonalds of USA in downtown Tartu, Estonia.
Outside the 24 hr Drive through stood a flock of revelers trying to hold each other up while ordering burgers fries and coffee. A big black BMW SUV honked and nudged forward along the drive trying to get to the window blocked by the revelers to pick up their order at the window.

I walked from there to the old slaughter house across from the park and in front of the river. Outside there is a large statue of a Hog. On his body is etched the various cuts of meat, with numbers and a chart on the plaque at the bottom of the statue. This thing is about 8 ft tall, and made of metal.
Later as the day progressed and the park and square and surround area came to life. The old doors to the former slaughter house opened, and I went in to find it was now a very large meat market with all kinds of meat in glass cases, and hundreds of people shopping for fresh meat. I found that in the Baltic States, though people have refrigerators and freezers, They buy everything fresh each day, and keep very few "leftovers". Even a Communist would not freeze something and eat it later. It just isn't done. They are very big on Fresh and natural.
We had planned to go to St Petersburg [Leningrad, Russia] since it is only a few hours NE of Tartu. We were told that we could get a visa at the boarder or in Tartu. I checked with the Euro Tourbus company. They confirmed that I could get the visa there, but I could not buy a ticket or enter Russia for 10 days. We could not wait in Tartu that long. We will re-plan for another time.
Finally, Tartu is a city of Love. This statue of "Kissing Students" which is the center piece is also the fountain in the central city square. It is so romantic...

Reflections From the Leigh

2008-06-18T11:42:00.000-04:00

When I was a young boy I spent some time during the summer walking the pastures and woodlands on my uncle Harry's small farm in Somerdale, New Jersey. It was only a short walk from my Grandparents home on Magnolia Avenue. Two blocks. Cross the White Hourse Pike, and go down the steep hill into the Leigh.

The trip was a short walk for my little legs but the time change was enormous. Within minutes I went from my grandparents home where there were things like a telephone, electricity, indoor bath and toilet, and a gas stove. Uncle Harry, my Grandmother's brother-in-law, and her sister Aunt Emma were only two miles apart. However, in what we like to call 'modern conveniences' they were about a half century apart.

I loved going down into the valley where Uncle Harry lived. A few paces down the trail off the White Hourse Pike the sound of the cars and the noise of civilization died off quickly. Of course, I'll have to say that in the 195o's there wasn,t much traffic on the Pike.

As I sauntered down the trail, the trees and underbrush seemed to fold in on me like a lush green cloak. I could hear the birds start to sing , and of course the bugs too. Things scurried in the underbrush, and sometimes it scared me a little. Yet mostly it gave me awarm feeling like being cuddled in a blanket as a child. There was the intimacy of being alone and in a place where I could think clearly with no distractions. It was a wonderful experience for my young mind and soul. Later, when I read Thoreau in school, I could easily identify with how he felt wondering through Walden woods and sitting by that peaceful pond.

Just a ten minute walk along the green path, and suddenly there was a bright sunny clearing which was Uncle Harry's pasture for 'Sorry'. Sorry was a sad looking mule who always looked beaten and tired. Harry kept him very busy, although I have to confess I don't remember my Uncle Harry being that busy himself. My aunt and her daughters did all the work around the house, and got in the daily supply of firewood. I guess I didn't get to that part yet about how my relatives from the 'sticks' lived, so let me tell you.

My Aunt, Uncle ant their family of three boys and two girls lived in a cabin that Harry built in the woods. They had a wood burning stove, no electric or phone, and the thing that was funny to me and my brothers was the out house. Yes. It was 1957 and they had no running water or indoor plumbing or electric.

We all used to have fun pumping the old water pump in the kitchen sink. Actually it was kind of modern for a 'pioneer log cabin' I mean the water was right there in the house and came into the kitchen sink. Just one thing. You had to pump it in.

The pump was a pipe sticking up out of the side of the sink and on top was a large cast iron device that had a long curved steel handle. At the end of it was a rod that was attached to a flat round plate that slid up and down in a 3 inch metal tube as you worked the handle up and down. I lifted up, and the flat plate went down into the water in the pipe, and as I pushed down on the curved handle the water was drawn up on the round plate and came gushing out onto a flat trough looking device [it looked like a flat duck bill] and spilled into the sink or pitcher or glass. There better be something there to catch the water, or Uncle Harry and Aunt Emma would be ready to put a switch across the novice pumpers bottom if the fool kid who make that kind of mistake.

I got in real trouble one time because I forgot to fill the 'prime picher' after working the pump. See, in order to get the pump to work first you had to pour water from the 'prime pitcher' into the top of the pump. This was called priming the pump if there was no water in the pitcher then you had nothing to start with. Forgetting to fill the 'prime pitcher' was a real sin.

"Billy," my aunt screamed at the top of her harsh shrill voice. "you been fooling at this sink again boy, and you forgot to fill the pitcher" Her face was red, and I knew I was in a heep of trouble. "Now you get this pitcher right now and go down to the creek and fill it, or I'll switch your hide so bad it will look like red meat!" I snatched that pitcher fast so I wouldnt get a swat before running out the door, and got over to the creek and back before Aunt Emma could find her switch. Refilling the 'prime pitcher' was one thing I never forgot again.

Aunt Emma made lunch and I tell you it was really good food and so tasty. Everything came from her garden, and for desert we had blackberrys that we picked in the woods that morning.. The milk was fresh from 'Minnie' a spotted heffer Aunt Emma kept out back. In those days I did not know what pasteurized even meant, nor could I spell it. All I knew was that the milk was rich and creamy over those delicious blackberrys. We never saw Uncle Harry until evening.
I was sitting out on the front pourch which overlooked the small pasture, and then through the opeining in the treeline which was the path I had come down that morning, Uncle Harry appeared.

He was not a big man, but he was always so serious, and never laughed or joked. He rarely even gave a smile. In fact, I thought he was very mean, but to tell the truth he never really did anything mean to me, nor did he hit me. However, I heard from his kids that he beat the tar outof them if they didn't have everything done to suit him. If Aunt Emma even hinted that they were misbehaving when Uncle Harry was gone he'd beat them just to keep them in mind to obey their momma.

Is sounded mean to me, but it was their way, and the kids all grew up OK. About the 'kids' actually ther were only a few years older than me, but it was strange, because they were my aunts and uncles. It got confusing, because their mom, Emma was Aunt Emma [actually my Great Aunt], and her daughter Sara was Aunt Sara. Their Pop was Uncle Harry, and his oldest son Harry was also Uncle Harry. Harry, the oldest was 18 at the time; Sarah was 17 ;Bobby was 17 ; Danny was 16 and June was 15. I was 10 at the time, but when you are ten 18 sounds old.

My Great Aunt was as old as my Grandmother Amelia. They were twins, but didn't look alike or act anything like each other. My Grandma "Amelia" lived in a big 2 story house on the other side of the White Hourse Pike. It was a 4 bedroom home with a big diningroom, a cool basement I used to play in when it was dry and a nice sunny front pourch that she had closed in all around with windows. I spent a lot of wonderful days in that warm sunny pourch looking through all her old National Geographic magazins, and reading her stacks of Readers Digest books. But that's another story.

Back on Uncle Harry's pourch I was rocking in a big wooden rocker when I first saw him appear. He had on a plad shirt and an old pair of brown jeans. Resting on his shoulder was his ever present shot gun. It seemed Uncle Harry had it wherever he went. I guess Uncle Harry was in his early 70's at the time, and Aunt Emma was in her late 50's. They married late in life where at that time of this tale most people were getting married at 18 or so.

Harry was in the War.. The BIG ONE --WWI. It seems that after the war he came back and wondered the country for a long time. The war had changed him, and he had a definate opinion about anything modern or man made. That is why he was against anything we'd call modern. If he couldn't make it himself he didn't need to buy it.

He built his home in the woods. It wasn't a log cabin like some people said. Uncle Harry had rigged up a motor from his small Ford tractor, and made himself a small saw mill. He cut his own trees, and sawed them into boards. Actually it was a lot of hard work, but he created beams and enough boards to build a 2 bedroom home with a large living room and a wide front pourch. He dug out his own basement, and piled sod and his own brand of a mud-sun dried brick for a foundation. He built the outhouse, and dug his own well. He cleared the pasture, and grew his own crops.

Since New Jersey was famous for sulpplying Philadelphia with garden vegtables he had an easy time making a little money from his farming efforts. Next to the path leading down to the Leigh, and right on the White Hourse Pike was Elliot's Fresh Farm Goods. This was a small wooden stand that sold fruits and vegtables to passers by: usually Philadelphians driving back home from the Shore; since this was the main road from Philadelphia to Atlantic City at the the time. Uncle Harry and Aunt Emma being the main suppliersto Elliot's were just a short distance away. I wonder why they didn't set up their own stand and just sell the stuff themselves ? Uncle Harry was very anti social, and I'm sure he could not stand to sit there and see all the modern cars whizzing by, and once they got a tast of his anti modern attitude there would be no customers.

Elliot, on the othr hand, was friendly and very talkative. A typical business man who loved to shoot the bull and tell you all about the new development and growth that was happening in the area. Just the opposite of Uncle Harry.

Acutally Aunt Emma and the kids did a lot to cultivate the tomatoes, beans, peppers, carrots, and other produce that kept them going. In the harvest season we came over for fun just to pick the vegtables and berries. I can remember spending whole days in the woods picking berries. We'd get baskets of them, and Aunt Emma would give me a penny for each basket I picked, so I picked a lot. Also, if we did real well at the end of the day she had a nice hot rubarb pie baked for us. I still can't believe how she could bake a delicious rubarb pie in a wood stove without it tasting smoked, but she did, and it was always delicious and sweet.

As the sun set, Aunt Sarah and June would go around the house and carefully light the coal oil lamps on each table. They gave off a warm yellow glow to the house, but they also made the place smell of burnt coal oil smoke.

Yes, I remember those days with wonder and joy in my heart and today I don't think Uncle Harry was too crazy for holding 'progress' at arms length.

Europe for the Summer of 2008

2008-06-18T11:32:00.000-04:00

I decided to be away all summer. It gets very hot in Florida, so I decided to go to Eastern Europe along the Baltic coast. It is warm here, but with much more moderation than Florida. Besides it is a great way to learn a new language, and enjoy learning about different cultures.

Over the next few months I am going to post my activities from the countries and cities I visit.

Public Pictures are available on some of the travel logs. So you can get an idea of Eastern Europe.
I hope you will enjoy the updates as well as I am enjoying the trip. Also, some off the road reflections are in order, so you'll have to wade through those too.

Have a colorful and wonderful summer where ever you are, and I hope I can bring some Eastern European flavor your way.

Bathing Suit Season

2008-05-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

My mind goes agog thinking of the evolution of bathing suits I've witnessed over the past 50 years!

As a young boy there were only the one piece jobs that covered all but the flabby thighs.
The 60's sliced out the middle and then boys could enjoy the midriff. Still some flab hanging over the bottom piece meant nothing too negative for a horny teen boy.

I recall Bridget Bardot and her sexy suits. Later, she was easily overshadowed by Sophia Loren, who today still looks almost as good as she did when I was a teen.

There were endless Bikini films aimed at teens in the 60's; although the Bikini had been invented in 1946. Those frilly two piece suits were a real teaser for young teen boys like myself.

These days, I see more skin on the beach than I did watching "smokers" when I was a wild teen.

Everyday in Fort Lauderdale where I live is truly a "Girls Gone Wild" day.
In a way, back then, it was more fun in imagining what the girl looked like under the suit. Today you don't need an imagination, and the girls need very little to get their bodies noticed.

There for a time, I believe the sexy bathing suit fashion created a generation of firm tan bodies. It seems lately that fat is coming back. I can't get over how some young women have let themselves get so overweight, and then try to stuff it into a thong. This is a site to give men sore eyes.

One piece of advise for all bathers, if it sticks out too far, and hangs over too much: Exercise,; cover it up, or stay home. That goes for men too!

Getting Older doesn't make you any Smarter

2008-04-05T18:43:00.000-04:00

Experience should be the best teacher, but for some of us; we just never learn.

My very good and close friend pointed out to me that I seem to be making the same mistakes over and over again where it comes to women. She's a woman, so I'll take her word for it. She has such keen insight into human nature, and she is patient and kind. Her observations made me stop and think what I am doing. I believe she is right on target, but I don't know what to do. One thing I should do is send her flowers for being so kind to me.
In any event my problem seems to be that I can't say "no". I love to make people happy, and I an overjoyed when they are happy. Sometimes I think am more happy in giving than in receiving. That should be good: Right? Well it seems that there is someone I neglect when I am giving, and that's me. It sounds so selfish to say, but I think that what my friend is getting at.
She is so beautiful and in tune with human nature. She really puts me in awe with her keen insight, and she is the best conversationalist I've ever had the pleasure of conversing and exchanging ideas with. What she's saying , after all, is in this world if you don't take care of yourself ; who will?!? T hat may sound 'jaded' but true.
My thoughts are more toward the Utopian idea of perfection and sublime harmony. I need to wake up and realize that that is not a part of this life here on earth. Jesus strove for that perfection. As a perfect man and our Lord He lived it. Yet He left us on earth in an imperfect situation where Evil rules. We are to be in the World; not of the World. A very fine line distinction I might add.
After all, we live here. The irony is that the world would be a perfect place if we did not live on it. God created the absolute perfect, self sustaining and functioning engine when He made Earth. People are like the sand in the gears of a fine running machine. We try hard to make new things and tinker with the perfection that surrounds us. Yet the result so far has been that we pollute it and destroy the very nature that God placed here to sustain us.
Perhaps there is a parallel there with my relationships. They could be perfect if I didn't try too hard to make them work. Perhaps I should just back off and observe how my personal interaction with others would go if I didn't interfere. In other words I think I try too hard to make something that is already working -work.

I really need to learn after 0ver 62 years that I just need to keep out of my own affairs and quit trying to make everyone happy. Because in doing so, I seem to be achieving the exact opposite effect.

One last thought on learning. It is a waste unless you really, really apply it to your daily action and interactions with others.

I Know Your Heart By Your Stated Values

2008-02-21T23:13:00.001-05:00

I started working and earning wages when I was 11 years old. Though my family was poor and we were all expected to help financially as a sort of collective, my parents never instilled in me the idea that money was the highest value in life. I don't know how it happened, but for me I never really valued the dollar other than as a medium through which I could obtain the necessities of life.
Many who know me will say, I often seemed to have more than just the necessities of life. They would remind me that I had nice homes to live in, and a good car, clothes, and enough money to travel and enjoy the world. True, but money was not my reason for living.
I am saddened by people who judge everyone by the money they have. I have heard people say, "He has a lot of money. Look how he is so smart and sharp."
What is it that makes people believe that the ability to get money has anything to do with intelligence and brilliance."

Many of the richest people who have ever existed were poor, just as many poor people lived the richest lives on earth.

It costs nothing to sit on the beach and luxuriate in the richness of the sun, sea and sky God has made for us. The enjoyment of a strong wind against your face on a brisk morning is a very rich gift anyone who so chooses can enjoy over and over.
The droll task of gathering piles of money and hording it in a dry bank account or a safe is never as fulfilling as a dive into a powerful wave just before it crashes onto the beach.

The Holy Spirit within each of us is reaching out to us saying'" enjoy this God made it, and He made it for you to enjoy and see Him within His creation." This is why we feel so overpowered and "Awful" when we witness and enjoy the overpowering feeling of Nature, It puts into proper perspective. We are small and we see our tiny forms against the enormous backdrop of the Natural world. God made us so to remind us He is in the Nature we behold, and we are to stand in awe of it and of Him. In doing so, we worship Him through the pleasure of His creation. I don't see or hear any mention of Dollars or the puny material things we gather with us along the short trip on this planet. And guess what? When we go, all that stuff stays.

Thus, it is the smart man who learns to give value to the natural beauty of earth; not the man made things that will rot and lose value. An Egyptian who put a pile of gold in his Pyramid is long gone as is the gold. The sunset over the Nile river which he may have enjoyed one time in his life is still there today, and just as beautiful and Awe inspiring today as it was thousands of years ago.

Some people think I am a fool because I did have some money at one point in my life, and I let it go. I could not hold on to it, and it did not hold on to me. I was washed clean of nearly every material possession I had ever struggled to acquire. Yet I am not saddened or humiliated. People who knew me when I was a successful Corporate leader and owner of my own business may say to others, "Isn't it a shame what happened to him. He used to have so much..."

I can only tell them I still have much. I have memories of helping some people in my life, and I can still see the smiles on the faces of those few I made happy in my special way. I only regret there weren't more. Giving has been a great joy in my life. With every cent I "lost" by giving to others, I gained something that money can't buy.

I have been chided recently because I have an MBA, and some people near me question why I am not making money with my 16 years of education. I can only look back and recall that the Liberal Arts and academic background I acquired was done so with a love for learning;not a love for the money it would bring to me. I was actually surprised throughout my life that in some small way it aided in helping me make money. For many of the things I learned in school were only ethereal thoughts, ideas and philosophies.

Getting back to my parents, they were poor, but they were compassionate. They shared what little they had. My Pop only earned about $70-80 a week and my Mom worked in a factory assembling electronics. I am amazed that in the late 50's-early 60's they were able to send six children through private school. I was the most ungrateful child of the lot, and I gave them a hard time because I wanted more than they could give. In truth, like the Widow's Mite they gave the most and received the least in return.
I suppose later in life they were made to feel better for their sacrifices by having three of the six children receive college degrees and then see them raise Families and make a decent living. Both parents were very proud of us, though my Father, naturally, had a harder time showing his emotions on this issue. My Mom made up for it by showering us with hugs and kisses at every new graduation or academic achievement.
Yet, through it all both stressed the need for art and music. There was a richness in my home that I ,frankly, did not see at the time. However, I do recall seeing my father well up with tears as he watched an emotional Musical with Jeanette McDonald and Nelson Eddie. There was never an emphasis on money. Talent, and honor and honesty were praised more than the love of money.
I was a Boy Scout, and my Mom was so honored when both Me and my older brother became Eagle Scouts. She loved being in the Eagle Mothers society, and attended long after my brother and I grew out of Scouting.
Again, I am so disappointed to see the love-greed of money in some of our young today. Rap and Movie Stars, with their decrepit life styles are all OK. The first thing out of everyone around me when I offer criticism of these icons is," Yeah, but look at all the money they make..." It is like saying a corrupt and deviant lifestyle of drugs and booze and immorality is OK as long as the person is making money.
Money is to people today as the idols were to the primitive people of the ancient world. Anything goes as long as the person has money. Another thing that bothers me is that so many people seem convinced that if a person has money that person is always right.

You can't say anything that is credible unless you have money. Sometimes people close to me ask my opinion about something. I give it freely, and then the next day I get, " Oh! You know I asked [a friend who has a lot of money] He told me what you said was right."
"Wow! I am glad to hear that. I bet if I told you the sun will rise tomorrow at 7:16 AM you wouldn't believe me unless you first checked my bank balance." Why has the possession of money suddenly become equated with having brains??
I can tell you this, and please believe me even if I am poor; If you can only give value and credence to a person who has a certain amount of money your heart is not in the right place. Your values are clouded by dollar signs, and you may begin to lose the ability to see the spectacular treasure of a sunrise on the ocean horizon at 7:16 Am tomorrow. At that point you will have become like the many poor bastards who can't see the beauty of a bright blue sky for the dollar signs cataracts clouding their eyes.

How Did I Get Here??

2008-02-01T08:11:00.000-05:00

Have you ever looked around at your present setting; situation, Community, and partner, and asked. "How did I get here?"

Don't be surprised many of us ask the same question almost everyday. The answer is usually we listened to others. When you were young and dating someone, say in high school, did you start to feel obligated to being with that person because all your classmates knew that the two of you were "dating". That meant you were to "be with" that person, and if you were seen alone people would ask " Where's ...??". Like you weren't you if you weren't with the person everybody thought you should be with.
People are "Channeled" through life on the same type of "Social Rail" track. You are always asked what you are going to "Be"when you grow up. So much so, that you have to say something, or you will be made to feel like an idiot if you don't have an answer. I'm not just talking about the 50's and 60's generation. It still happens today. "What are you going to do? Who are you going to be? Who are you going to marry? It just goes on and on. You are not a complete person in the eyes of others if you haven't the right answers.
Once you give an answer, you are locked on to that track, and many people feel helpless about getting off it. Sometimes when prople try to get off the track they are made to feel like they did something wrong, or worse yet, that something is wrong with them. " Hey what happen to whatshername? You two were great together. What did you do that you're not together with...?" See, automatically, you did something wrong [mostly it was that you threw people off by making a change].

People don't really like change. When things change they have trouble keeping up. So it is better for them if you stay with the same person, keep the same career, and remain on their track where they have you set in their minds. We all seem to being "Railroaded" througout life.

What happens if the train does not arrive on time, and at the station you expected it, or if it does arrive, and you get on and find it is going to a different place. That screws thngs up, and we all know it.

So, it we are ingrained with the idea that we should stay with the high sschool sweetheart; persue the career we told everyone we were going into; be in the community we fit into.

Then when we reach a point where we get just enough time to turn around and look back down the track we say to ourselves:
"How did I get here?"

Spoken Into Existance

2008-01-26T08:41:00.000-05:00

I was sitting with a group of men at my Wednesday night church dinner.

Across the table was an man in his 80's sitting with his son who is in his mid 50's. I had the feeling I had seen these two before, but I couldn't quite recall where. The conversation began with their latest travel venture to South America. Later it gravitated to the current Presidential primaries, the energy crisis: particularly gas prices and renewable energy.

"What has happened to Strong American Leadership?"I asked as we discussed the list of candidates. "It looks like we have a very dim list of prospects to select from"

"Nobody wants to get involved. " answered the older man. "Besides, what can one guy do?" he continued.

"Well," I replied," throughout our history, 'one man' as you say has done a lot. Look at FDR ; JFK , Lincoln, Jefferson and other strong leaders we have had in the past. Have we run out of those people in our times?"

The old guy gave me that sage, look as if to say, 'I have a lot more experience than you, so listen to me.'

Then he rhetorically he asked, "Is it the man who makes the times or the times who make the man?" He delivered this maxim with a great Cheshire Cat grin.

"I believe it is always the man." I replied.

"No, no. no...You talk about FDR." he bristled. " You weren't even alive when he was president. "But I tell you, he was stuck with the depression, and anyone in office had to do something about it. He just happened to be there." He was getting more excited with this last delivery.

"True, but then why didn't the country continue with Hoover? " I asked.

The old guy put up a hand and waved me off," Hoover couldn't get a thing right. He was for the rich, and knew nothing about the troubles the poor were having."

"Then it sounds like it was the man, and the woman [Eleanor]in this case." I wasn't out to trip him up, but he had just given the answer to his own maxim.

"Well, maybe in that case," he conceded.

"All I am saying," I hastened to add, " is that we are facing an energy crisis and a leadership crisis, and I'm looking at a bunch of candidates who severely lack the great qualities I have seen in our past presidents."

I continued when I noticed he and the son seemed to perk up. " Just think of 1960. JFK committed the US to put a man on the moon within a decade. It happened."

The old man's son jumped in with both feet at that point. " That had nothing to do with JFK. We already had rockets and scientists working on it. " He looked away as he spoke as if I had missed some major point, and he was helping me to understand the historical facts.

"Yes. We had knowledge of rockets, and science was working on the idea," I agreed," But this was a serious engineering problem. One with many details that had not been completely solved in 1960. And personally having had to fulfill promises that advertising and upper management make to the public about technology that will be available to the customer, I am here to tell you the phrase 'The Devil is in the details' is more accurate than most people can ever imagine. Think about the fact that computers [the few that did exist] were the size of a refrigerator in 1960. It was hardly something you could put in a small capsule that could barely hold three men. Most people don't understand the thousands of engineering developments that had to be perfected prior to that first trip to the moon, yet we made it"

I paused; then added," It took a lot of hard work to help JFK's words become an historical fact."

I continued," What made it all work was a vision which was created and kept alive by one man. A visionary who spoke and idea that inspired others to make it happen and have them say 'Yes this can be done. We can make it a physical reality." and bringing it back to the original point. ''I am saying that I believe if we had a leader among this lot who would stand up and say, 'America will go all solar or some other clean energy source to become independent of Oil within a decade' and that person was a strong leader like an FDR or JFK or a Lincoln, it would be done just like we did the moon shot."

The old guy waved me off again," You are dreaming. It can't be done. It is too expensive, the oil companies wont let it happen. It cant be done by one guy." Then in an attempt to throw in some semblance of logic, he asked, " Is anyone willing to pay double the cost of a gallon of gas to help the environment? No it would cost too much to do. I don't care how strong the leader, no one guy could make that happen." That was supposed to close the books on that idea.

I wasn't about to quit in the face of such closed minded thinking. "Sir, I now recall where I saw you. You were there just prior to the American Revolution. It was you who told Jefferson and Washington, 'It can't be done! It will cost too much. It has never been done before! One man can't make it happen.' " I continued. " I believe you were there before the Civil War telling Lincoln 'One man can't stop slavery. It cant be done. It will cost too much. This is the way it is and you can't change it.' "

"You were there at Kitty hawk giving your sage advice to the Wright Brothers, ' Don't try to fly that thing. It cant be done! It will cost too much. It is dangerous. You will put the Railroad out of business and they won't stand for it."

Since we were in this place to study scripture after the meal and our present discussion, I had to press one last point home by asking, "Gentlemen, ask yourselves if you would be the ones to tell Jesus ' One man cant make a difference? It can't be done. Your ideas about peace, freedom and all people loving each other can never happen. Would you tell Him his ideas were too radical and that He as one individual could not change things. "

"Now you are getting into something altogether different,"the old man said.

"I know it sounds different," I retorted. "The fact is that given the past 2000 years it is easy for us to look back now and see that one man did change the whole course of history, and the human nature of millions has altered to accept the beliefs of Jesus, although we know His work is not yet completed. But put yourselves in a time prior to His coming, and ask if you could be open to His radical thinking not having the knowledge of the past 2000 years history."

I asked " Is the idea of us having a leader propose a radical change in our energy resources something that is so impossible to you that it should not even be spoken? The word is a spoken idea. Ideas are invisible in the mind. You can't see or touch a thought. However, all things come into existence through thought. Do you know that the whole world was spoken into existence?"

"Don't try to kill an idea at its inception. Nurture it; believe in it; help it grow and like a miracle a thought will spring into existence before your very eyes."

The chapel bell rang, and we all left the dining hall for chapel or individual bible study groups with fresh thoughts for the evening.

Important Relationships

2008-01-23T08:47:00.000-05:00

Everyday there are distractions in our lives. Mostly it is our business, or professions or liesure activities that take time away from the really important focus of our lives--relationships and people.

Most of my adult life I always kept my TV in a room away from the "Living room or Den".

My concern is that when people come over to visit, or the family needs to meet there must be a place in a home that is conducive to conversation. Consider the Television: it is ubiquitous in today's society. It is a device focused on eye contact. People used to have eye contact, and they conversed with each other. However, the television now zaps all eye contact and conversation from humans.

Have you ever been a home where you walk in the front door, and are immediately in the "living room" with the TV on. Some of the residence may break eye contact with the TV just long enough to say "Hi". Other times, they act as if you are not there, or as if you are annoying them by being there. The ones who have had their souls sucked up by the 'Electronic talking Eye" may never turn away or even acknowledge you. Believe me, you are not in the "Living room" you are in the "Dead Zone" of human communication.

Humans, as I said require human interaction and eye contact conversation. It is what keeps us alive. Much of society is like the living dead today. They have lost this basic ability and need. They are living, but their souls are empty, and instead of sharing their lives and thoughts with others, they are watching movies and TV to try to fill the void. It does not work! It is a one way, street and nothing from within can get out to the TV or movie screen. Therefore, they are become what I call a jaundice soul. instead of having a bright, clean,white soul they have become yellow and faded and dull.

I need to tell you I have been very fortunate in my life. I found a person [just one] to whom I can share eye-to-eye all of my inner most thoughts. This person is the only one other than God who I can be fully honest with. She is like no other when it comes to listening and sharing ideas and feelings. And after, all, that is what this human need is all about.

Feelings!

Mostly we guard them, we disguise them, we hide them from others and sometimes even ourselves. In reality, this is the part of us that has to be expunged almost daily. It is like eating or bodily functions. Yet so many of us have no one to share our feelings and thoughts with, and that is the most important part of being human. Without this human ineteraction we become less and less human every day.

I used to sit in drinking establishments, and meet interesting people. They were fun to talk to, and many had a lot to say. The drinks always, it seemed, made it easier for people to open up. I learned a lot from those encounters. I learned that people really need people. They really want relationships. Some, for various reasons, ceased conversations with the really meaningful people in their lives, and they wound up in bars and pubs finding others to communicate with. Probably they found that the booze lowered their defensiveness and made them more vulnerable to exploring their inner thoughts. They became less inhibited in expressing their thoughts to an anonymous human randomly sitting next them on the next bar stool. At any rate they were communicating. A basic need of humans like eating or going to the john.

Then these places started installing TVs.

At first it was a little TV at the end of the bar which was mostly there for the bored bartender. See the bartender who used to listen to all your problems no longer wanted to play the role. He/she had their own issues, and did not want to deal with yours.

Next the Big Screen monster took over. It was like walking into the "Living room" of your neighbors home. You became a bother to all who were there watching the meaningless sport event, or latest world crisis. So now, where do people go to fulfill that basic human need of communicating eye-to-eye with each other. I believe it is a dying human function. Some lucky souls have found that God is a good listener, though since we can't see Him we don't get the same human contact need we require. Also, we are confused as to the two way interaction, because prayer seems to be very much one way.

I have tried, but I can't find in the Bible when God ceased visiting us here. I recall that He walked with ADAM in the Garden, and that He personally visited Abraham . Some of the Profits had conversations with God. He spoke to Moses and gave him the Commandments. The next major contact seems to be Jesus. Then He left, and promised the Holy Spirit. So that is our modern day connection. But we live in a physical world, and we see things with our eyes. We haven't strong enough imaginations to believe that Jesus or the Holy Spirit is sitting across the table making eye contact during our conversations. Therefore, we feel lost. Our friends, and the local drinking pal are all watching TV, and we are all losing the art of conversation and interaction. What can we do?

Find a friend or better yet, go back to communicating with a lover or your wife or husband.

Turn off the TV and pray like you never have before!!!

THE TUNA E-INDUSTRY

2008-01-21T08:45:00.000-05:00

Attention!!
Calling all tuna fish.
Do you get the same e-mails I get with a promise to make you rich in just 4 days???

I have looked at hundreds of these web sites. They are all trying to sell each other ideas about how to become rich. Truth is that only the fools who contribute some level of money get taken, and the guy who nets them makes all the money. In fact, the average person cant figure out how to get in on this scam. The whole thing is just virtual crap of electrons bouncing from computer to computer with no actual physical product to use. I am sure the top scammers are making lots of money from the fools at the bottom. It is like the top scam guys are in a big boat throwing over a net, and the fish are jumping in by the tons. What happens to the fish, he gets eaten. The guy with the net [fake web site] makes money selling and eating the fish. I AINT NO FISH!!!

When your Brain Isn't Working

2008-01-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

I suffered a severe stroke in June of 2006. As a result, I lost the of my memory of most of the things I did for a living in the past. I ran an electrical contracting business. I was a computer programmer. I was a Project manager of fiber optic Sonet systems. I used to design, plan and carry out the creation of these networks. Then one day in June of 2006 my brain got fried, and I lost all of the detail knowledge with which I had earned a living over many years. Why?

I do not know. The doctors told me it could have been worse. My rehabilitation therapist said I am lucky. I could be dead or may never have regained my speech or left side of my body physical strength. I guess I have to learn to live with that, but it is a tougher thing than the things I had to go through to speak and move again. Through it all I had the help of a wonderful woman unselfish woman.

Still, I struggle daily with the fact that I am not whole anymore. I was also a pilot, and I loved to fly. Since I was a young boy bicycling three miles from Somerdale, New Jersey to reach Echelon air field in Marlton I loved the thought that I could get up in the clouds and soar above the trees. I used to go there and spend hours looking over the old Piper Cubs and biplanes wondering just what made them fly. I dreamed of getting into one and taking off. However, I came from a poor family, and none of us had ever been in an airplane, let alone a private plane . I just had to dream, and spend a lot of time making model planes that flew. Even there, I could only make balsa planes covered with tissue paper. The cost of a little motor to power one of my models too was out of my limit. I was determined to correct that some day. How?

School. My parents and older siblings all told me that education was the key to getting ahead. They may not have been able to give much in the way of money, but they gave me something more important: hope and the belief that I could do it if I tried. That meant I could make the money I needed for the things I wanted by just using my brain. I wasn't the worlds best student, but I had this bulldog approach to things. I never let them go until I got achieved what was needed. The result was that I finished college, got a Masters Degree, and learned to be a managerial engineer. Eventually, I learned to fly. It was a long road [flight path], but I was in that cock pit and soaring above the trees and in the clouds. The first time in the air by myself, I could hardly believe it was me. I thought I was in a dream. The same dream I had as a young boy at Echlon Field.

Life is full of achievements and disappointments. A few years ago I went back to visit the dream field of my childhood. Echlon Field was now the site of a very large shopping mall. What a disappointment. Ever since 1974 when I had become an Air Traffic Controller I got an annual flight physical, I knew that I was in top shape for that job, and for my piloting skills.

Recently, I checked back with my Doctor, and was told there was no chance that I could ever again pass the flight physical. I am grounded for life, and the same goes for my work skills.

Life can turn on a dime. In my case the turn seems irreversible. It is a one way turn when your brain stops working.

Missing Aminal Instincts

2008-01-11T21:55:00.001-05:00

It is a little late in the game to be discovering this about myself: I am lacking in the necessary animal instincts that God instills in all living creatures.

Look at the animals when they see each other. Instantly there is rapid communication. Eyes dart back and forth; hairs stand up or lay down; backs arch or slump; noses get wet and dry. Animals smell each other and use the odor to form a mental picture of one another. They stretch, yawn, move their tongues. In short, they are sizing up each other and finding out all they can about the other animal.
Don't we do a lot of the same thing when we are thrown into a group. Almost every Friday night I go to the Aruba Beach Club Bar in Lauderdale by the Sea. It is located right on the beach at the very east end of Commercial Blvd. Once inside I observe men and women of all ages and types doing just what I described above. They are sniffing, moving and otherwise communicating with each other. It is all non-verbal, yet sometimes I find certain people who can tell me about the entire room of people just by walking through and purchasing one drink. Meanwhile I also find that everyone else in the room seems to know something about this person. Me. I am such an observer, and a non interactive type that I impress people about as much as the wall covering. Somehow, I do not pick up on the animal non-verbal communication thing, and it seems to work both ways. If anyone was sniffing me in this type situation, they act like it may have just as easily been a rock. I seem neither to get or give off animal vibes.
What can I do to improve this trait? Is is all born within, or something we learn from childhood? I mean, I used to get an OK on "Works and Plays well with others" Yet I meet people who can tell me the names of kids they went to first grade with and their traits . I can't remember hardly anything of anyone I knew that long ago. In fact, I have a difficult time remembering who I met this morning.
Am I cursed with a missing gene? Is there something that seems to isolate me from civilization. If I were a lion cub would I make it to adulthood, or would the missing sense of smell and that seeming sixth sense of knowing what is going around me with respect to interaction among others lead me to an early death?

I can remember this much. Early on, I seemed to miss who people were in the group, and I failed to place them in some social strata that is important when human interaction is needed to protect or define or other wise place oneself in a proper social situation.
I do remember a incident in High School where I was walking out of the Gym. Some other students were playing basketball. The ball went out of bounds and headed toward me as I was exiting the door to leave school for the day. I heard a strong voice tell me to throw the ball back. Nothing registered, I just was focused on leaving, and could not feel that all the eyes in the gym were upon me. I continued to move on, and left the ball bounce against the wall.

The next day I believe half the school was waiting outside when I left school. There in front of the crowd was the same rough voice that yesterday had demanded I toss his basketball back. What had I missed? Was I so devoid of this animal instinct that I did not know this guy was the top school bully? Was I so much of an inept social being? How was it that the whole school knew this, and I did not. My lesson soon started when he began to push and shove me to the ground letting me and the rest of the school know that when he demanded something; people were supposed to react in his favor. I did not have a right sense of smell to know that this guy was so much in command. My thoughts were more along the lines of what would I do if someone did not throw a ball back to me when asked[not that I would ask or demand such a thing]. I would just go and get it myself and be done with it. Why was this such a big deal to him? Yet there was something of the animal competition and aggression going on here that I did not understand. Why did this guy taking the time to even think of me to the point of having to show he could easily overpower me in front of my peers?
It was his animal instinct; in his nature! He had to show others like me who did not have the proper animal senses to know it already that he was the superior animal. I already knew that , and I didn't see the point in either of us demonstrating something we both knew.
Again I missed the point. Knowing it is not enough. Showing it is everything! I now saw his muscles in action. I could smell his sweat as he pushed and shoved. I could feel the tension in the crowd as they watched and were reaffirmed of the fact that this is how groups are selected and defined.
Yet, I still didn't learn to really put great stock in this animal selection process. I did not get the survival theory, and I just went on living my life ignorant or immune to what is probably the most important trait each of us must develop in order to survive.,
I may still not get it.
I stood in the Aruba Club watching others interact, and still I was missing the basics.
Help me to mingle and meet.
Someone, please bring out the animal in me!!
I'll be back next week ladies.

Tough Day at the Flea Market

2008-01-10T18:53:00.000-05:00

Yes Folks. It's true! When I'm not making millions on the Internet, I sometmes spend the day at the Flea Market trying to make a buck. Or at least my friend Daniela makes all the money.
Have you ever noticed how when a guy has a buck in his wallet or hand his woman wants to grab it like an octopus.

I mean the sucking sound pops your ears as she grabs your money.
Well we baked 4 hours in the sun at the Sunrise Flea Market today.
What a collection of odd people, and junk. I mean the county should just have a thousand dump trucks filled with tons of fill dirt surround the place and at about 9 AM they could create an instant land-fill.

What really gets me is the people there [ my woman included] think this stuff is really worth something. Just walking past the vendors gives me a big laugh...
"Well, this painting is an original done by my uncle in 1920." says the one leg vendor to the prospective stooge.
"I mean, just look at the quality. Had I remained living in Brooklyn this piece would be hanging in Guggenheim Museum."
The stooge holds it in her wrinkled brown hands, and shifts her false teeth back and fourth in her mouth. ' I likes the colors, and the frame will go in my garage. 5 Bucks."
"OK"
Another piece of junk shifted from one dump to another. Perhaps this is a real community service. It may actually be reducing the size of the Broward County landfill.
Walking about you see some of the most low life people on earth. They are the dregs, and they certainly match the merchandise.

Old tires; non working electronics; faded and ragged clothes and a host of mixed stuff that people clean out of their garages; the place is a wash with waste; human and otherwise.

One stand is filled with old food that was taken off the shelves of stores that are required by law to discontinue selling the stuff after the shelf life date has expired. Yet here it's OK to sell. Then there is the stench filled fruit stands. I really wonder where all those old brown bananas and over ripe avocados come from.
For the upscale shopper, there is an indoor ripoff joint where some of the most useless stuff is sold. I saw one filled with ceramic figurines that were covered with dust. Of course they paint lots of gold on these useless nick knacks and then glaze them up. I guess it helps glaze the eyes of the idiot who will buy this junk. Presumably the buyer can dust them off and take them home to gather dust from their home and not have to use the stores dust. In this same shop there were mirror moving pictures: ocean and park scenes of birds and fish moving on a celluloid sheet across a poorly painted beach or park scene painted on a mirror. As if that assault on the aesthetic visual senses wasn't enough the thing played some horrible music as the birds and fish jerkily inched across the grotesque images. The horror of the whole mess could only be properly described in its ugliness by a Fraser Crane type.
I have told my friend that if she wants to remain friends she will never again drag me into the Flea Market .
Her retort was:''OK then give me back the $40.00 we made selling our useless junk"

The wretched phrase" One man's trash is another man's cash." rang in my ears as we packed up and headed to the beach.

Played Any Good Games Lately

2008-01-09T07:04:00.000-05:00

I miss being away from my grandson.

He loves to play games, and everytime I visit him he always gets me involved in a game.

At first, I am like most adults. Do I really want to sit down and play a game with a 7 year old??
Then he gets the game set up, and I find myself listening to his instructions. We start to play, and I ask a lot of questions about the rules. He knows all the answers, but I sometimes suspect he makes a few of them up as we play.
The most important thing for me is that when I am playing, I forget everything else. That sore toe; the arthritis in my shoulder; my tired and old bones. Heck! I'm playing a game and competing against a 7 year old boy who has the energy of an A-bomb locked inside him. He is releasing that energy on me in the game, and I am getting some of it transferred to me like radioactivity.
Yes it is contagious. I am becoming younger, and more alive. We are having genuine fun.

Often I find that adults make up things to have fun with, but in reality the are just extensions of our serious competitive side, and they usually cost us money. Also, we must win to save face, and to show others we are smarter; stronger; more witty; in better physical shape; or just have more of something our opponent does not have. We golf and bet on the outcome. We go to casinos and lose our money. Who in their right mind thinks they can win at a casino. We marvel at the beautiful surroundings and the elaberate buildings. Adults talk about how beautiful the decorations are and how stunning the settings. Do they ever say." I paid for all this with the savings I lost here." ? No, somehow they think the casino provided the wonderful surroundings. However, they don't stop to think of all the families who sacrificed so much so a husband or wife could sit at a slot machine or card table and lose all of the family earnings.

It is so wonderful that childrens games are not like that. They generally cost little, and the real games, not the ones adults try to make up for them are fun and rewarding.
Remember the Tom Hanks movie" Big" here was a kid trying to tell adults what kids like, and here were adults trying to tell a kid what he should like based on adult perceptions. Thank goodness in the movie the kid won out. Not always so in our daily life.

More and more I see adults buy their kids what they think will be fun for their child. Then after Christmas I see both disappointed adults and children. Piles of toys and games sit idle, and the kids play with the empty boxes and discarded wrappings. The parents are upset that the $100.00 toy or game is not being played with. Worst yet, this sometimes brings on scolding or hard feelings between the parent and child. If more parents would think like their child and listen to what the child really needs, they would go back to simpler times when games did not come in a box [or Xbox]. Games are about ineteraction, and as a society we have all but lost that God given talent.
Not so with children. They play for fun. They have no inhabitions about the other player. The children who are not yet jaded by the adult world are open and want to communicate witht their opponent. They are not out to prove anything. Games are genuine fun for them. Adults often forget what fun is all about. We try to have fun.

Kids have fun. There's a big difference!

Next time I see my grandson I will welcome a game of "Monkeys in a Tree" with greater joy than any present he could give me.

New Day Dawning

2008-01-07T22:21:00.000-05:00

Sure it is the start of a new year, and we all think it is going to be different. Well if we keep doing the dame thing we did last year and think something new is going to happen just because the date changed, Well, friends, that's the definition of being a "crazy" person.
OK so let's do something this year that we've never done before. Strengthen the backbone, and tell everyone you know, "This is the year I do it the way it pleases me."
I get tired of always pleasing the other person just so I am perceived a s s nice guy. I've had a career of being the nice guy, and all the people I thought were pricks are way out ahead of me. They took the tougher path, and looked the other way when people gave them grief for making the tough decisions.
Time to change and become tough.
Look out world I'm a new me in 08 and I think I'll like it, tough for you if you get in the way. No more Mr Nice Guy.

Me and my Lady Friend Driving in the Car

2008-01-06T11:11:00.000-05:00

What a crazy story! I called Abe to tell him I could not go with him to the casino boat to play poker. I did not have the money because I just bought my woman, Danila, a mini skirt, shoes, and a purse and shampoo at Victoria Secrets.
Also, I was driving over to pick her up. She is such a nut. She got in the car, and I asked me to put the top down. She was wearing the outfit I just bought for her. Next she pulled up her top " You like this nice bra?" Her hair was blowing in the breeze, and her breasts were perfect in the new bra.
"Helloo! I just got this i-pod, and I have so much good music on it. Do you like Snoop Dog?" She said pulling down her top and inching up her mini skirt.
"No, I hate Rap Crap, and Snoop Dog is always with the sexy ladies, but I heard he's gay."
I squealed my tires and we took off.
"Well, I got this free music, and I'm going to listen to it even if I have to nurse the sound out of this crap CD player"
Rap blasted over the rush of the wind as we sped down I-95 to Miami.
"How do you like the clothes?"
"OK!, but I still want roses and candy ." What a bitch!
She continued, " A man is supposed to Shower his lady with flowers and plants and money to travel."
"Listen babe, I just spent a wad on you, and we went on a cruise last month."
"Oh sure, some cheap flight airline tickets, and an old cruise boat ticket you bought from a guy in a chat room, along with those free samples of bath soap that dissolved in seconds in the shower."
I can't please this broad with anything.
More nagging..."Then you get this cheap used car, and I catch you going to a personals site trying to date some mature woman who looks like an old dried hag when you have a beautiful young woman like me to take care of and you don't."
"Listen, I have to work at home because I can't get on the job list, and I have a bad credit report to boot. I think I can get a job with the Dish Network. I'll look up my old buddy Dennis on People Finder."
We were near the Bay, and I pulled in to Paul's place so we could go to his dock. I liked his house plan, and we always enjoyed the day there. I decided to turn a deaf ear to Danila and enjoy the bay and the water and warm sun.

Lemon Squeze

2008-01-06T10:40:00.000-05:00

Lemon Squeeze

Oh, the feel of our youthful squeeze.
My main squeeze held me tight,
In the car;
In the night;
On the beach;
Her hands and lips delight.
Later years a squeeze dared not go soft,
Held tight abed;
Held by child’s hands;
Held by duty;
Squeezed by obligation,
And more the bitter juice
Squeezed, oozing through my pours.
Late, the lemon squeeze
Is such a bitter feel,
And less a pleasure of
Hands on hearts
I’m Squeezed now more the peel.
Will Rodgers

on Death after New Year

2008-01-05T17:36:00.000-05:00

We are all mortal, and we all believe we will never die. That thought is put in our spirit by the Holy Spirit. It is the key for all mankind to seek after God. However, since we are all human a nd flawed with sin; we usually seek after the wrong god, and not the True God. The thought that we will live forever is confusing to us, and we think it is oour bodies that will live forever. Because of this we have no fear of God and our own physical mortality. People who are blessed by God are made to see our mortality, and it makes us both fear and love God. I think you are OK, and will live a long time. God needs you to do something, like all of us. Some people never find out what it is, but it happens anyway because most often our existence has something to do with others, and we don’t know it. We are always looking at ourselves, and missing what is around us. They say that writers sometimes have the insight to look out into the world, and come close to what it is each of is here to achieve. Surely the writers of the Bible had that gift, but then they were writing for God.
I don’t think I am a writer because I cant sort out what is happening around me, but I do try hard to figure out why we are here, and what purpose each person serves.